From that second you slipped into this world and immediately grabbed my finger tightly with your tiny perfect fingers, I've wondered what this day would look like. I've thought about where we would be in our lives, what incredible teacher would find their way into your world, your favorite things you would have discovered about this earth, and the quirks that would have imprinted their marks on our days together; these five and a half years of being your momma bear. These days with you are precious to me beyond measure.
And yes, there were times I might have doubted if we would be here together. Things can be so unpredictable and no one really knew how my body would handle pregnancy with you, on top of everything else. The past version of myself lacked faith in my health and my own strength. Perhaps not so much doubted if I would still be here with you, but played that wicked what if game that is oh so dangerous in the depths of the heart of a momma. However, the fact remains that your love has been the best healer there could ever be. I believe your amazing soul is just as potently powerful as modern medicine.
From that extreme, I have gone far to the other end, speculating if you would be a big sister by now, by some unexpected avenue. While this isn't the fact right now, and I am the first to admit I have no idea what the future holds for our family in that aspect, it is okay that we are somewhere in the middle of these two vast circumstances. More than okay really, because the place where we actually are is an extremely beautiful one.
Right now my dear? Oh honey, right now we have three crazy cats in our family, you love to sing, your bike makes you so happy, you are a fabulous friend to many, your creative brain astounds me, you are more passionate than most, and you are healthy. Busy, inquisitive, kind and brave. Every single day you wow me with your take on things. Your endless questions and thirst for knowledge remind me that we should never stop learning or inquiring. And that love is always the solution to the problem.
I hope I have shown you how to find magic in whatever comes you way, and that you remember fairytales are true because dragons actually can be defeated. The three of us have already defeated so many together.