Yesterday I laughed as the person on the other line of the phone at the specialty pharmacy asked if I understood the storage requirements and dosing (of every waking hour) of the eye drops I've been using for the past 13 years. I painted my girl's toenails Cinderella blue while I gulped down coffee. I deep cleaned the downstairs bathroom and then we high tailed it to one of our favorite parks, as if our lives depended on it. I indulged in a sweet tea. I wore lavender skinny jeans. I soaked up the ear candy of Paul Simon and The Alabama Shakes. I let myself get lost in motherhood and sunshine. Time seemed to slip away hauntingly albeit seamlessly while at the park. To do list items faded in to the background as my girl lit up with newfound courage over mastery fresh playground skills. Later, I stayed up way too late with Roar watching Ultimate Warrior clips on YouTube and reliving my past of so many lifetimes ago when I was obsessed with wrestling. Yep. One of my deep, dark secrets is I was a 11 year old wrestling nerd girl. I might have even had trading cards. I was all about Shawn Michaels and Sting.
Today I made progress on baby steps forward on a few projects, including but not limited to, project improve myself a little bit each day. I ate lunch with Sookie on a pirate ship at a new park we decided to explore. We were mermaid pirates who jumped into the ocean, said hello to our dolphin and whale friends, and then hopped back onto our ship of antics. More often than not I get strange looks from people when I'm the mom on the park structures right along my girl. Oh well. We made it to ballet right on time, poofy tutu and pigtails of cascading red curls to boot.
Next Friday is the 19 1/2 year anniversary since my kidney transplant. I'm flabbergasted to be this close. I want to have an epic celebration in October for the 20th anniversary! This kidney has outlasted my wildest dreams and expectations. My friend Laura named her kidney Dobby and sometimes I wish I was that creative to come up with such a fitting name for mine. The best I could do was name mine after a (somewhat silly) stuffed kidney named Sydney. I think about it every day, what it takes to keep a body living, breathing, surviving...and then the thriving and doing more than simply existing stuff is all up to us. How we spend our time, what we put our focus in, where we channel our hearts, what we view on non-negotiable aspects of being human. What dreams we decide we really really want more than pounding hearts and words shouted from rooftops.
My crazy beautiful, messy, remarkable life. Grateful for it all. Happy to be alive.