today we cast aside the grown up, "responsible" things on our agendas and took our girl to the lake.
for the past several days, i have been wading through the murky, heavy waters that come with the brand of guilt that is indeed concrete, but in which you did absolutely nothing wrong. you were living your life. sook has been dealing with a virus that has turned out to be quite a bully, and all three of us were ready for some fresh air and perspective, in big heaping doses.
today delivered; hours outdoors in silence, the only slight noises being the lapping of the waves against the shore and an occasional airplane overhead, stillness so loud i wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that i was back on a first name basis with my authentic self. i stripped everything down to my core and BAM! there i am again. funny how that happens. oh yeah, hey real self, i like you a hell of a lot more than your crazed, stressed out, overly analytical, rush rush rush version that insists she must be everything to everyone and if she isn't, she has no doubt, failed.
(i've been putting just a little too much pressure on myself lately...can you tell? ;)
sook chased the daddy long legs, the grasshoppers, and the sun. she waved at the boats, the hawk, and the water. she kissed the fish. she played in the dirt. she made the worms do acrobatics that prepared them for their debut in cirque du soleil.
nature is so good to me. she eases my fears, calms my nerves, restores my faith. she reminds me where i've been, where i'm going, where i am now.
and urges me to celebrate just how incredible all of that really is.