what we wore (& dreams realized)

tonight as sookie leaned in to kiss me, ever so innocently and gently, it came in a rush of bricks how much i use to daydream about moments such as this very one i was currently living out.




i was preparing some notes for a cystinosis adult care excellence initiative conference call (i am beyond honored to be in this impeccable group of women who want better care and better lives for ALL of us living with this disease & if you've never heard of it? please take a few minutes to click over and educate yourself; it would mean the world to me), the two loves of my life were plotting an epic adventure to target while mommy was busy, and it felt good, precious even, to watch this scenario play out before my very eyes, in my very own home, in my very own life.

who would have thought; the life i went so out there for, so bold, dared to dream...is mine?
it is crazy, humbling, miraculous.




& that is my endless lesson in these days post-pregnancy. after being so angry and frustrated with my body for months now; i had an epiphany yesterday (well, perhaps it is a never ending one), it might very well take me five years to recover from my pregnancy with little miss s.

and that is okay.




actually it is more than just okay...
it is fabulous because it already is,
it is reality.
my body is a soldier with everything i have put it through
& i will celebrate that
exercise extreme patience with it
and love the heck out of every tiny cell
and what it has done for me.

i know i have said it before, but it is time for me to really start
living this notion.

that's it.
that is my new motto.



Sookie:
romper - Target
headband - Smith's Market Place
Shoes - Old Navy
(she was channeling her inner hippie ;)

Momma:
Shirt - Target
Pants - TJ Maxx
Shoes - Aerosoles


i love what i wore wednesday...haven't participated in awhile!



Headband - allora handmade
Panther Pendant - Stella & Dot




there was a tremendous amount of insisting on pushing mr. frog in the stroller today.
...i loved it. 
;)

happy wednesday!
soak up your life.
every last bit of it.

handbags, happy news, & glitter shoes

this post will be fluffy joyful things because i'm still feeling not so hot since my little ER trip on thursday; in addition to a few other things, i am so nauseous one would think i am pregnant, but i am most definitely not (& that is another entire novel of a blog post right there) and hey...the good stuff is always more potent than the bad, right? ;)




happy news?


roar's iPhone app company, Appdicted had it's best day ever on sunday. most single sales in any 24 hour period since last June when this venture was a new chapter for us.


we are feeling so humbled, so grateful, so...ready for ALL of this. ;)




have you seen the new handbag collection at Stella & Dot ?
drool over them all with me, will you? 
*******

absolutely thrilled to welcome our very first blog sponsor, pure katherine & her glitter shoes! 

katherine takes a pair of shoes you already own, but have grown tired or bored of, then she makes them all sorts of pretty. seriously, how fabulous is that?!




i'm a girl who loves glitter and who covets as many shoes as carrie bradshaw owns, so when you put the two together? my heart skips a beat or two at the mere thought of such a fantastic marriage. 





katherine is so generously offering you dear readers 10% off through september 15th, with code AHAPPYGIRL. so go, get your glitter on. you can conquer anything in glitter shoes, i can attest to that. ;)

check out her blog too and send her some love & light; http://www.purekatherine.com/


*******


tomorrow i will hunt down ambition, cross at least two things off my to-do list & if i don't cross off five, that's okay too. our girl is changing so vastly every single minute, i feel compelled to document each second of her life to show her how amazing she is.


...but i have a feeling she already knows.




sometimes we need the fluff to cling to, in order to make it past the things in life that are...well, not so fluffy.


here's to hoping your tuesday has some fluff to counteract the not so.


xo.
{t)

the good stuff

the good stuff is realizing sonic diet coke is a tremendous assist when i must channel my inner badass on a 100 degree day, with a nap ready toddler and groceries that need to be purchased for dinner. i feel like any trip i try to take to target, just the two of us...is a recipe for disaster. however, at the peak of my frustrations, hindsight leans in and softly whispers, someday you will miss these adventures in toddlerhood; trying to balance crossing items off of my oh so sophisticated list on a post it, while little miss S thinks she needs to crawl on the germ infested floor while trying to push the cart that probably weighs a hundred times more than what she does. (girlfriend is tiny, she was 19 pounds at her 18 month check up.) yes, she somehow thinks she needs to crawl while pushing the very bottom of the cart. this all happening while i'm on the receiving end of some awesome stares because people think i'm a teenage mother. ;)

the good stuff is reveling in a lazy sunday morning of lady gaga, alice in wonderland (the target dollar bin book version) and juicy gala apples with our girl.

the good stuff is being inspired to change things up a bit in the house, rearrange, shift, add, take away, and so on and so forth. just as it goes in our hearts and minds; there is a season, turn turn turn. & a time to every purpose under heaven.


the good stuff is dropping everything on your to do list (literally, i dropped packages i needed to mail and my actual, physical representation of my to do list), to take your girl to the park.




the good stuff is roar's killer yard sale finds (yet again!); his penchant for yard sales rivals my grandma's. she was the queen; she found all the good stuff. the treasures no one knew they had. rory's finds on saturday were a fire pit and a corduroy love sac. if a corduroy love sac doesn't scream fall, i don't know what does.

the good stuff is the sound of football smoothly sliding through the air, with the promise of fall and the utes first season in the pac 12!

the good stuff is watching a girl and her pup play in the frigid water sprouting from the garden hose on a sweltering summer afternoon.



the good stuff is grilled pink lemonade chicken tenders. sounds crazy, i know! but you marinade chicken in frozen pink lemonade (don't add water) overnight and they are so tender they melt in your mouth.

the good stuff is trying out the tv on top of the fireplace, asking sookie her opinion and her response? "oh .wow!"

the good stuff is seeing the one you love fulfill a boyhood dream of owning a drum set. while yes, there have been frequent trips of loading sookie into the car to drive around and escape the noise, i'm a sucker for watching those who mean the world to me live out a piece of their dreams.

the good stuff is devouring a banana shake from taco amigo while on aforementioned escapes from the extreme noise of drums in the house. ;)

happy sunday!
what was your "good stuff" from this week?



now accepting sponsors!

hello lovely readers!

how is your weekend so far? busy, quiet, chaotic, lazy, a little bit of everything? ours has been intense heat, we are talking over 100 degrees here, and gorgeous stunning thunderstorms that just grab you by your very soul and force you to witness their powerful majesty. i love a good lightening display to remind me how small i really am in the grand scheme of this big ole world, but that sometimes the littlest actions can make the biggest changes.

which is why i'm proud to announce i am now accepting sponsors for this little web space i've become so dearly attached.


i do need to convey my thoughts on this, because i know it can be tricky territory balancing a personal blog with sponsors. please believe me when i say i've went over and over and over this giant leap in my heart and my head. at first, i felt ...well, icky for lack of a better word at the notion of even thinking about it. obviously i am not this momma or this momma so what makes me think i'm so special people will want to advertise on my blog? well, i don't. ha. however; i love etsy, i love small businesses, i heart handmade, i love all of your beautiful blogs i discover daily. i love this incredible vast blog land that gives us all a huge opportunity to not only follow our dreams, but to downright chase them until we tackle them and laugh with gleeful triumph. i'm a firm believer in working together, supporting each other, building each other up. while income is like sex and politics, not a topic that is easily discussed, nor something i want to make a habit of discussing here, my medical expenses are overwhelming. by accepting sponsors i can contribute (a little more) to them and thus make a better life for my family i have dreamed of for so long.

i always strive to be honest here, so please know that! i appreciate each and every one of you who visit..truly it means the world. so...this is my new adventure here and i'm going to try it out. if it doesn't work? then i'll figure something else out. but i'm thrilled, excited, and feel blessed to work with some of you promoting your blogs, your businesses, your shops, in a way that we BOTH win, and in a mutual respect that this is a partnership. :)





a happy girl had over 20,000 page views in july 2011 and currently has 425 followers through google. because i am just venturing into accepting sponsors, rates are extremely affordable.

click HERE for rates and more information.
email me at tahnie@gmail.com

thank you so much for your continued support. you all are incredible!

xo.
{t}

five minute friday: older




five minute friday. have you heard of it? the wonder that is the gypsy mama came up with it and it is basically the coolest thing since sliced bread. every friday we gather, with just five minutes, just our words, no inhibitions, no excuses, no proofreading.

it is terrifying and i love it.

here we go.
(loving this topic a week after my birthday! so fitting)




OLDER


time is geting older, you can feel it in the wind, in the stir of everlasting change that shifts all around us.
i am getting older, the days tell me so and so does the well earned lessons of motherhood, well living really. living comes with an abundance of lessons...who knew? (ha)
our gorgeous little miss is getting older, her movements more graceful than clumsy, her words forming more enunciated syllables, her pretend play becoming more and more sophisticated with each scenario that blooms in her constantly budding brain.
older is good, despite the cliche against it. older is wiser, stronger, more meaningful. with time comes true knowledge, who we should pour our love into, who we need to avoid, what we throw our energy into, what things aren't worth a second thought or glance, where we want to be when give a precious spare second or two, and so on and so forth. older is a blessing, so many don't get out of what they need in the days that they do have.

yesterday was a very frightening day for me. i'll elaborate later but i started to doubt if i would ever see my daughter or rory again. bolts of reality like that force you to reevaluate what you are holding yourself up for.


little joys & remembering

sookie's laughter makes me feel like i can do anything; it has a sing song vibe to its cadence, and it fills me to the very brim with effervescent courage.

a vast majority of the most perfect moments this summer have revolved around her giggles; they fuel me when i think i can't go any further.


my grandma kay would have been 73 today.




i miss her from the depths of my bones. she was a superhero genre of a woman; those rare kind. i can't believe it has been eight years...

after yesterday's debacle of finding out Sookie no longer has insurance...(SURPRISE!) i made extra effort to soak in the little good things today...because they are what our days melt down to; when the sun sets you remember the juicy aspects; not whether or not the laundry was completely put away.

this morning was zebra pajamas, burnt but still delicious blueberry pancakes, lucinda williams, and scrapbook supplies strewn from one end of the hall to the other, in our quest to make the perfect handmade thank you cards.








this afternoon was heat, sook having her bangs trimmed and feeding chickens with cousin ronna...and building forts out of the couch cushions and the dining room table. (i confess, this was my idea. ;)





i'm thinking i should have had the back of her hair trimmed as well...because now she is rocking a carol brady type of do. haha!

oh well.
c'est la vie. ;)

xo
{t}

for one minute please




today's thoughts are super quick. 

birthday weekend was beyond lovely. i'm talking disney perfection level of loveliness. this morning? phenomenal; i felt incredible, restful night of sleep (s spent the night at glamma and poppa's), healthy lunch (after a weekend of not so good for me things), clean hair...i felt unstoppable. crazy that is all it takes to boost my confidence, right?

then a bunch of not so fun, real life ridiculousness happened at little miss' 18 month check up, concerning insurance...and i was a mess. sprinkle on the details that she is no longer on the growth chart for weight and momma was feeling defeated.

tomorrow is a fresh start, a clean slate, a blank canvas; i will make phone calls and channel my meanest momma bear and move mountains.

because that is what we do for our babes, yes?

and really, we've been through worse; we've fought bigger battles and won. we've climbed higher mountains and celebrated at the peak. we've danced more dangerous dances and come out alive. 



no one said this would be easy.






hope your tuesday is full of good lessons.
xo.
{t}

twenty eight

there is something monumental about waking up on the morning of your twenty eighth year here on earth, holding your impossible. her soft red curls, her toddler feet that are so big and yet still so small at the same time, her sweet milky breath full of youth and hope.




so here's to you, twenty eight; the year i honestly never thought i would see. one of my cystinosis heroes passed on when she was twenty four. it was gut wrenching. it felt like the world had been swiftly taken out from under me. it shook me to my very core. 

so here's to you, twenty eight; nineteen years longer than i was "supposed" to be here. 

so here's to you, twenty eight; i vow to push myself out of my comfort zone in every facet of this adventure of life. i vow to question anything and everything. i vow to never become comfortable being stagnant; in my dreams, in my goals, in my creativity, in motherhood, in love, in friendship, in my emotions, in my writing, in my wandering.

hello twenty eight.
let's do this.

five minute friday: new




how funny the topic of five minute friday is (new) on the eve i embark into my 28th year?
cool.
let's do this.


NEW

my dear girl is abounds with new vocabulary every day.
new objects are beyond facinating.
new antics, new challenges, new expressions.
new joys, new activities, new discoveries.
she opens new windows into my soul every 24 hours i get to spend with her.
she moves me forward, to new spaces in time.
she compels me to find new versions of myself.

we turn new leaves in our lessons in this life.
we turn pages of our story
some with apprehension,
some with great anticipation,
others with elated glee,
carefree high spirits,
but always
together.

i don't know quite what this "new" year in my life will bring.
a new chapter.
new ways for me to live out loud
dance in the driveway in the rain
push and pull all of this taffy of our days.

xo.
hope your thursday has been full of smiles.

no less than the trees and the stars


this is so true.
the universe is unfolding as it should.

xo.

lions, tigers, and bears

i'm going to say something that isn't annoyingly optimistic or ridiculously positive. (and yet i hope you will continue to read because while i pride myself at seeking out the joy in all things, i also have a fierce commitment to being real but sometimes the two don't always coincide. i always want to be real here with myself and with you sweet readers.)

today was awful.

yes, it was.

the day was anyway. feeling like a failure as a momma. feeling the huge fact that i can't do everything and i need to stop putting so much pressure on myself. i hold myself to impossible standards and i always say i will stop, but i don't. realizing i need to ask for help once in awhile, which is an oh so big burden on my massive ego that thinks... "i'm not sick, i have all the energy in the world, i'm not only supermomma, i'm superwoman, i can do it all AND bake organic vegan cookies from scratch whilst looking adorable with a full face of makeup in my pristine house with my perfect doll of a toddler."

we were so late for little miss S' 18 month check up, that i had to reschedule. only to realize 15 minutes later that i have a physical therapy appointment (for my hip flexors) ten minutes after the time i rescheduled sookie's appointment. and no, this isn't life or death but i feel crushed when my health directly affects her life. it is something i promised myself would never happen.

so...
what do you do when you have a day where it feels like everything is crashing all around you and you don't even have the strength to ask for help?

why, you don animal face paint and indulge in mexican food for your cousin's 27th birthday dinner of course!






i won't remember today as the day i was so scattered, exhausted and crazed that i couldn't even get sookie to the doctor on time, i will remember it as, "hey, remember for kenyon's 27th birthday how we all painted our faces like animals and went to mi ranchito? laughter filled the restaurant and even though we were perhaps slightly obnoxious, the other diners were secretly wishing they were a part of our vivacious group brave enough to bask in childlike whimsy in public?"

fairly certain everyone thought we were nuts, but so what? my reminder i needed that life is short; LAUGH. some days are diamonds and some are dirt, you take it, accept it, movie on, brush yourself off, shift some emotions and revise goals. you resolve to wake up again tomorrow and try again.

so i will wake up and try again tomorrow. and the next day and the next. for, i turn 28 on friday and that is 19 years longer than i was ever supposed to be on this earth.

for tomorrow there will be play group, physical therapy, precious time in the car when a momma has minutes to herself, cursing the heat, but embracing ice cold lemon water, big sunglasses, watermelon, sookie's vocabulary that is tripling by the second, and every last bit of summer.

days are where we live

I find the moments that fulfill me to the point I feel so utterly invincible that nothing ugly can touch me, are the every day ones. The act of making food to nourish the bodies of my two loves, the simple process of a bed time routine with our girl (okay, maybe not so simple these days during todderhood! haha) but the every day normalcy of going to the grocery store with my little family is huge in a way I can't contain in mere words. why? clawing through my childhood, normal is something i ached for...and now? now i bow down to normalcy and thank her for covering me in her tiny fragmented bliss. because in my world normal is not something i have had a big taste of; normal is my exception. normal is epic. normal is magic.






What are days for?
Days are where we live.
They come, they wake us
Time and time over.
They are to be happy in:
Where can we live but days?

Ah, solving that question
Brings the priest and the doctor
In their long coats
Running over the fields.


{Days} 

by Philip Larkin


this poem is in the beginning of the book, one day.

brilliant movie previews give me goosebumps. THIS nearly sent hormonal overly emotional me into sobs. yep, just the trailer. i've never read the book, so i feel slightly icky writing an entire post that was inspired by it, but nonetheless...you grab inspiration where you find it. i hope the movie lives up to the tale of wondrous romance and gut wrenching emotions i have built it up to in my head.


the other day Sookie was playing in her room as i was putting clothes away in her closet. i was chit chatting with her and asked, 











"how are you?"


her 18 month old, gleeful response, clear as a bell?

"happy!"

i couldn't quite believe it.
the tears spilled over out of my eyes, flowing freely and wildly.



she gets it. she's so smart and teaches me how to live;
every single day.


i cherish rainy day picnics in the park with my mom and sookie. little miss doing the overly hippie thing and actually dancing to the tune of the birds singing. i laughed so hard, belly laughs. oh i laughed. 

the simple pleasure of enjoying 
wine and sushi after a long day. but then again, any day of motherhood is long. oh but it is amazing. it all is. i'm ready for every second and to squeeze every last drop of joy out of each day.













xo.

saturday morning scene

ah, saturday. although there is still plenty to do everywhere, the morning always greets me gently with an urge to slow down and enjoy stolen moments of stillness. 




...and silliness! 
this is one of sookie's newest & most favorite tricks.
she thinks she is hilarious.
whenever she does it, i get the urge to watch the movie, penelope. 
ha! ;)

she loves it when daddy is home to play.
i cherish watching their fun spirits bounce off of each other.
and someone making breakfast for me isn't bad either! ;)

so here's to slower weekend chores,
to do lists,
but a healthy dose of childlike wonder
and capitalizing on every chance you get
to be a little goofy.

what does your saturday morning scene look like?

thanks so much for reading.
it means more than you will ever know.
happy saturday friends!
xo.


linking up with

Saturday Morning Scene

littering positivity (or optimistic garbage)

the sun was sinking in the quiet sky and temperatures were falling softly. it was time to trade slides and grassy adventures for garlic and roasted veggie raviolis, baths, and pink polka dot pajamas. as i was leaving the park last night with my two loves, i told rory "hang on just a second; i need to do something!" he was buckling our precious cargo into her car seat as i took a sharpie and quickly jotted down some bursts of actions to invoke joy. i held my green post it in my hand proudly and dashed to a nearby tree. i pressed previously mentioned happy green post it on the trunk, snapped a photo and skipped back to the car.

his response?

"oh so now you are just littering positivity?"


love this man
he gets me.

this is the optimistic garbage i left on the tree:




nice, eh?

this was a part of The Shine Project's challenge to leave happy sticky notes at random public places. can i tell you how much fun i had and how refreshing it was?


 left this at the post office



 this one at the post office too



this one was at Old Navy in the clearance section ;)


it was funny because at first i felt like i had to be sneaky about it to make sure no one was watching, like i was doing something i shouldn't be doing. at the post office i used the self service kiosk to mail a package, then i stuck my post it on. an older gentleman walked up behind me to use the kiosk and i'm sure he thought i was slightly nuts. oh well. ;)

what did i learn from this challenge? it isn't possible to go into old navy and "just look" like i told myself i was fully capable of doing. oh! leaving happy post its morphs you into feeling like a happy post it.


 Sookie hopes you have some great shades to sport on this lovely friday!


Could you vote for us on topbabyblogs.com?
Thanks so much friends!

Top Baby, Daddy & Mommy Blogs on TopBabyBlogs.Com


our little family hopes you and you have a happy post it kind of weekend! ;)

rise to it

little miss s is FEARLESS right now. well, i think she always has been but it is more and more apparent every day. i equally love it and am terrified she is going to fall down our front steps and crack her head open, or get stung by a bee while trying to capture one in her precious little hand, or twist her ankle because she is running like the wind.

alas, there are lessons (for me) to absorb with all of this; less thinking, more doing. less pondering, more action. less worry, more pushing forward. i take meticulous notes and adjust my sails accordingly. i believe a little dose of fear is necessary for every beat and step of this life, but can you imagine what we would all be capable of if we did what we wanted and poured anxiety over the consequences later?






i loved today because it was full of pigtails with white bows, toothy grins, tight hugs for momma, a praying mantis, and a new pink potty.

so, here is my question: what is something you've been wanting to do, but the fear is stopping you? & how can you remove that fear as a factor?

my happiness journey

this weekend & last are blanketing over me with the crucial reminder of how much possibility the world always holds for us & how much power we all truly have in creating our own happiness.

every once in awhile, i need that potent wake up call.




my life is not perfect...

i know! total shocker, right? it is millions of miles away from perfect actually. i battle with my inner demons just like everyone else. and yes, i've done the woe is me, i'm the victim path...but you know what? it is exhausting & ugly & really not very much fun when it comes down to it. that isn't how i want to spend my days.

i could easily throw my words out here every day about how 15 years with my one and only sister was not nearly enough, & i will never get over that. about how it is frustrating and (at times) seems entirely ridiculous to me that in order to maintain my eye sight, i am required to put eye drops in every hour i'm awake. the fact the only life sustaining medication i have might cost $70,000 a year in the future is so terrifying it makes my stomach churn. (which is comical in a disturbingly ironic way because the drug itself causes severe GI complications, including lots of vomiting.)




but that kind of stuff fades into the background. why? because it simply has to or i would not have the strength to get out of bed. it is important stuff no doubt, but up against my toddler's sing song laughter, her kisses, getting to spend my moments with the most patient man in the world, the overall beauty everywhere in the world? it doesn't even compare. it can't.

i find an incredible amount of inspiration in this little, but oh so big blog world. Sara is truly a stunning example of what we should all strive for as human beings. she is confined to her home as a result of her health battles, a disease known as Ankylosing Spondylitis. yet, you would have no idea looking at the amount of joy this gal radiates. her dignity and vitality is a remarkable showcase of how lucky we all are to be living this crazy thing called life. there are many people i can think of who would not handle such a tough situation with the grace that Sara does. on my more challenging days, when nausea, fatigue and pain and rearing their annoying little heads in my body, she motivates me to go to the park, go grocery shopping, go visit a loved one...because i no matter how awful i physically feel, i still have the choice to leave my house. & that is a huge facet in my little universe.

this summer i've had my own weaknesses and mistakes, but i've been happy. microscopic moments in time with my family, just the three of us, propel me to reach higher, love stronger, and dream even bigger.
    
this is what i know:
happiness is really a CHOICE. just like anything worth having, you absolutely get up every single day and work on it. you choose what you are going to think about and you choose pour your precious energy into. you can be your own hero or your own worst enemy. the power lies within you. happiness is such an internal place.

& now i must dash.
we get to go pick out a potty for our big girl.
she's not our baby anymore & while that can be a little bittersweet,
i'm lucky i get to bask in all of everything that lies in the now.
i'm excited to jump into this new chapter of her life with her.




let's just be happy.
what are we waiting for?

xo.

Headband Challenge!

I was a little too excited when my home girl, Little Miss Momma issued a headband challenge last week. What is a headband challenge you ask? Simply wear a headband every day, for a week. Even if you are hanging out in sweats. I was bouncing off the walls with anticipation of this (I know, I'm silly) and told Rory about it. His response? "That's not a challenge for you; it is like a regular week in your world!"

Well, I had fun. And that was all that matters.


What I learned from the Headband Challenge:

1. Even on the days when you stay home and play momma, maid, nanny, housewife, teacher, a pop of a purple headband reminds you of the massive amount of sass you have, even just in your pinky.

2. Headbands are good to hide baby bangs when placed strategically.
(Yes, my daughter is 18 months and I'm still dealing with the awesome-ness of baby bangs.)
;)

3. The world would be a happier place if everyone wore headbands every single day.

4. I should make more headbands...I'm going with the theory, practice makes perfect.

5. I'm with Ashley, I NEED more headbands.




finally seeing Harry Potter day

 Black Flower - Forever 21
Yellow headband - Sookie's 
(can't remember where I bought it)
 Necklace - Metro Mix



 full time momma, maid, nanny, housewife day

Headband - Forever 21



picnic day with sookie & girls night

Headband - {just.lovely.things}
one of my favorite headbands ever!



 movie Sunday with my momma & Rory

Rosette - Sad attempt by me
Ha! ;)



 lots of writing and laundry day

Headband - Little Miss Momma Shop



 errands & lunch & fun with my momma & sook day

Headband - Cozette Couture
NecklaceThe Marchesa



 park with my girl day

Headband - Cozette Couture
Necklace - Panther Pendant


What is your favorite headband?


I'm a busy bee this weekend!
Looking forward to fun, family, friends and yummy food!
How about you?

xo.